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Ear infection.
Picked up my antibiotic suspension ear drops not long after my 3 hour stint in the ear/nose/throat doctor's office. They gave me a very comprehensive hearing test and then had me sit in a room for the better part of an hour...for no reason.
It wouldn't have been nearly so bad if I'd had the good sense to have brought something with me for entertainment, but no...I went in with only my phone.
For several reasons, not the least of which being none of the magazines in that exam room was published later than 2014. I swear there was a Vanity Fair with Tony Soprano on the cover.
There should be a law against that sort of thing.

At any rate, I was commended for my Adulting, and for making an appointment as soon as I did.
"This sort of thing can get nasty really quick," said the doctor.
Oh I know, I replied. It's why I'm here.

Tomorrow I have a meeting with my professor from last year to discuss my future in academics.
Something needs to be done, I'm just not sure if school is the thing that needs doing.
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Yesterday did not go according to plan, Read more... )
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There is so much to unpack, and not just what came home with me in my suitcases.

But I think that post will require a bit more in the way of mental chewing, and certainly more/better sleep than I've had the last few days.
No, this post is about how I totaled my smartphone and what's to come next.
Read more... )
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The world is a dire place, and because of that I'm going to share something utterly ridiculous.
Read more... )
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Once again I'm reminded that cycling =/= jogging.
And that the latter will help with the former damn near exponentially, the reverse...not so much.
Which is one way to say I've restarted Couch 2 5K yesterday, and my thighs are not happy with me. Like, at all.

This is kind of odd in that I've never really experienced sore muscles from jogging. Most of the time what's challenging isn't strength but stamina. My cardio-vascular health is resting. It's only when I try to do something that things get dicey.

But I did it! And now I just need to stretch more.

I think tonight I'll try my hand at some push-ups, so that way when I go jogging tomorrow my legs won't feel lonely about being in pain.
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I have been awake for exactly 48 minutes, and have absolutely No Idea what to do with my day. It's my second entirely free day, and I'm kind of unsure what to do with myself.

I've never really been very good at relaxing, a fact that I'm certain comes as a "shock" to those of you know know me in meat-space.

Maybe today is the day I start Couch 2 5K again, for like the fifth time.
Perhaps I'll head back to Home Despot for more plants and soil.
I could go on a bike ride around the Charles today.
The fridge is manky beyond all reason.
The tanks need cleaning.
I did mean to start drawing ages ago.
I'm way behind on reading.
What about knitting?

So yeah....decisions.
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This is my favorite time of year. When it's warm during the afternoon, but at night the temperature dips down into the low 60s. It's perfect for sleeping. I'm kind of stoked to get to sleep tonight, but not so stoked as to go to bed early. Going to bed early means tomorrow comes faster, and that means work. Boo. Work. It's not even that work is bad, it's just stagnant and boring as fuck. Computers that were busted back in April are still not operational, and my other project is on hold while the offsite people are spending the week training. It's gotten that I'm actually starting to do stuff I'd told myself I'd do ages ago. Things like Game Administration and teaching myself SQL of all things. I'm seriously considering bringing a book tomorrow and maybe killing some time during the day in the library. Or possibly picking up a knitting project. It's that dire. And what's worse is that I know everything is waiting for the week prior to my vacation to come back online so that way I'll be stressing my tits off in an effort to have a clean desk for the time I'm away. Frickin' boo. That's what I say to that. Frickin' Boo. There's more I want to talk about, but I got a free pizza tonight and decided to finish that bottle of wine that's been in the fridge and so my brain is delightfully fuzzy and the weather is nice and cool and...yeah. Work is boring and dull and stagnant, but everything else in this moment, is kind of okay.
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Do people have opinions about bike locks? Like, which ones are better than others, and why?

Last Monday I biked home from a rehearsal held near MIT. Somewhere along the darkened paths of Memorial Drive I lost my keyring.

Not the usb drive and key chain on my key chain, just the ring with my keys on it. If I'm being honest this is more of an annoyance than anything else. There were only four keys on the ring in the first place, two of which were to bike locks, and one of the others went to a lock that's since been changed. The last key, well...there are spares.

But now I find myself in need of a new bike lock, and I'm trying to figure out which way I should go:
- Another U-lock - An actual chain and pad lock? - Combination of both?

Tell me your thoughts about bike locks, because...I've got nothing here.

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Holy Crap. Headway has actually been made in final project.
In this moment I almost feel as though I won't drown entirely.
Unsure what to do with myself in this fit of uncharacteristic optimism, I came here and thought I would share it with you.

You know...instead of continuing the writing.
For reasons.

Yeah I don't get it either. 
I think I'll be in some pretty decent shape if I can get the bulk of the largest experimental section written during work downtime this week. In my happy goal plans that the universe is sure to poo-pooh on the moment they're written here, I'd like to have the bulk of the Experimental and Discussion sections written before the weekend, so I can use that time to write my introduction. Fiddling with formatting will be the bulk of next will be the creation of my slides for my presentation.

I might have to time myself to not go over the 15 minute requirement. 
It's just...I've learned so much about turtles, how could I not want to just prattle on and on....she says remembering how prepared she was for her last presentation and how well that did not go. 

If nothing else I know what NOT to do the next time I have to do this.
So there's that!

attractivegeekery: (facepalm)
One moment I think I have everything in the world to say, and the next I believe nothing I would say is worth hearing.
This phenomenon is only exacerbated by the fact that it's time for finals!

Rather than make this yet another entry about how frustrated I am with my seemingly inability to write on command, I'm going to focus on the good things that have happened this semester.

Because there were a couple at least.

I learned how to use my school's library, and it's both senses of the word. Seriously, it's been some time since I've gotten lost down a rabbit hole of research, and I'd kind of forgotten how much I enjoyed doing so. 

It's been rewarding getting to practice some healthy scientific skepticism. I wouldn't consider myself a terribly proficient deconstructor of arguments, so getting to flex those muscles has been interesting. Irksome, frustrating at times for certain, but ultimately rewarding. 

Getting to know my classmates has been interesting. I can't say as I know any of them terribly well, especially since I couldn't name any of them if my life depended on it, but overall they seem like a good group of folks. They're appreciative of free cupcakes, and wished me a Happy Birthday on the day, so they can't be all bad.

My instructor is someone whose brain I'd love to pick. Apparently she and her boyfriend/husband went to see a concert of the music from Legend of Zelda. That's all kinds of awesome right there. 

Two Wednesdays left and then...I'm done. 
In that time I have to get my paper proposal done, and make a 15 minute PowerPoint presentation on a portion of the experiment we're proposing. I've already got a screen cap of the 'I like turtles" kid for my first slide. Why? Reasons.

I just have to make with the writing. 

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I had a "Hyperbole and a Half" day today. 
All frantic in windows, and nebulous yet instantaneous in between the frames. 
Some reading was done today, no where near as much as I'd like. 
Writing is hard. It's a skill I don't practice nearly enough.
Academic writing is harder, with its formatting and footnotes, and style guides.
I think my instructor is going to be lucky to get an updated outline from me on Wednesday. 
Writing anything even remotely prosaic just did not happen this weekend. Maybe I'll take a day off from work. It's not like I don't have the time accrued. 
Maybe I'll bring my laptop into the library and work from there as soon as co-worker leaves from the day.
My desk is just too distracting, what with its internet RIGHT THERE! 

Three Wednesdays Left.
attractivegeekery: (frustration)

Please allow me to tell you about all the things I did today.

I balanced my checkbook. Scooped the cat box. Made my bed. Put away all my laundry. Even the stuff on the back of the chair. Resolved to cut my black fleece jacket population in half. Put away my yoga mat and foam roller. Showered. Dressed. Made a run to CVS for necessities. On the way home I bought flowers for the seder Roome A was hosting. Found out the florist is from the next town over from my hometown and that of course she knew my grandfather's old bakery. Bought seeds from the adorable Israeli couple that owns the local hardware store. Played a whole bunch of Ingress. Rode my bike to the new-to-me hipster bike shop and left it there for a much needed tune-up. Attempted to mentor a volunteer at the museum. Kind of taught 24 children about dinosaurs. Watched them later as they made catapults. Played way more Ingress. Sneaked left over seder foods. Read an amazeballs fic written for me for my birthday.

Now for what I didn't do today:

Write the rough draft experiment proposal I have due on Wednesday.
We all know that writing gives me the panics, yes? This isn't news to anyone by this point, is it?

I keep telling myself that all I need to do is get something down.
It's a rough draft. It's supposed to be ugly as fuck.
I'll have two weeks after this Wednesday to make it pretty. I just need a scaffolding. Even if that scaffolding is a beefed up outline with quoted sections in the place of my own text. All with proper citations, of course.
And then...there'll be the presentation.
Three more weeks. I can do this. It's only three more weeks.

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If anyone has a sure-fire way to regain the number of fucks one has to give for anything other than dicking around on the internet, I'm all ears. I've been sitting at my desk for the last few hours with absolutely nothing to do...just staring off into space. I could have been reading for school. I could have been home. I could have been dropping off my bike for some much needed love and repairs. But no. Just sitting. Staring off into space without the ability to hold a thought in my brain. I'm just exhausted. Between now and next Wednesday I have five papers to read. Two of which I need to be prepared to talk about in class. I was supposed to give another presentation, but like a quitter I bailed. My instructor seemed more than happy to meet with me outside of class to go over the material so I didn't have another freakout like last time, but...I decided not to take her up on it. Can't help but feel like I've let her down just a little bit as a result. Maybe that's what's causing the lethargy. Or maybe it's knowing I have less work to do. Still a lot of work, mind, just less of it. Or maybe I've succeeded in burning myself out a bit. Which is bad, because if I'm burnt out now the next five weeks are going to be interesting. One might even say awesome, if they meant it in the traditional sense.
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I don't want to alarm anyone, but I think I've been hit by not one...but two flashes of inspiration tonight.
Read more... )

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Things I have learned tonight:

- Lazarus, the form saver app for Chrome, doesn't seem to work with Rich Text DW text boxes. So the three or four paragraphs I had here before are now lost to the ether. Which...kind of sucks given that what I had written here pertains strongly to...

- The fact that I am all out of fucks for the foreseeable future. Especially with regards to  school, which can go eat a dick as far as I'm concerned. I'm just burnt out, and though I'm more than halfway through the semester, I'm still a long way from being done with it. I want to say that this is proof that maybe higher education isn't for me, but I'm doing surprisingly well in the class.

Like...entirely too surprisingly well given the agita I've been giving myself over the assignments and readings. 
It's almost like I'm too hard on myself and am not entirely an idiot. 

- Which has made me more strongly consider yet another tattoo. One to go on my forearm after the one on my left shoulder (rat), and the one going around my left upper arm (LEGO dark mark). I'm thinking asking friends who calligraphy to help me with a font and then having someone ink: The prefect is the enemy of the good.
Because if there's one message I could really stand to have indelibly inked into my flesh, it's that one.

But let's get back to this topic of school, shall we?
I had one whole week to make a rough, yet detailed, outline of my final project. As of the writing of this post I've got all zero of that done. It's due Wednesday. 
Well let's be honest, I had a couple of paragraphs typed out, but then Chrome decided to eat them. 
Eat a dick, Chrome.

In which I blather on about my class and the project due on Wednesday. )

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So remember that great big giant To Do list I had for the weekend?
I got about a third of it done. Most of the stuff that fell by the wayside are school related. I have one more paper to go through for discussion on Wednesday, and then I have to find my Central Paper for my final project and summarize it in under two pages.

Not too bad right? Especially when one considers I have not a damn thing planned between now and Wednesday.
This is totally doable. Right? Because my brain is telling me to panic, and it's pointing at the one third unchecked boxes on my list.

 I did, however, actually get out of the house a bit. I had dinner with friends, saw an awesome show, and then totally crashed the cast party. Iiiii might have drank a bottle of wine in the process as well. This may have put a bit of a crimp in my Sunday schedule.

I don't know who okay'd the daystar being quite that bright, but....I want them found and held accountable.

I'm excited for this weekend on account of the traveling I'm going to get to do.
But in the meantime, there's reading, writing, and editing that need doing. 
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I feel personally victimized by Charlie Cox as Matt Murdock. Personally. Victimized. I'm stuck in that place where I want to do nothing but watch Daredevil, but know if I do that then there'll be no more Daredevil to watch sooner. And this is just not okay. Not okay in the slightest. Seriously, this man's lop-sided grin gives me feels. As do his sardonic facial expressions. His stupid face should come with a warning. I have a sickness.
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