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Brave Soldier of Democracy
Nov. 4th, 2015 12:11 pmYesterday was Election Day, and like every Election Day since the fall of 2005, I was working the polls.*
It was a day that started at 4:30 in the morning and went until 8:30 at night. What some might call A Long Day. Mine was made to feel longer thanks in part to a sinus infection and a recent flu shot.
Yeah, pretty sure I had a low-grade fever for most of the day. Lots of fun.
Plus alongside that I had a wonderful bout of IBS. Not sure if that was brought on by the coffee I drank that morning, the fact that I didn't eat solid food until 4 pm, the overabundance of Vitamin C Drops, the flu shot, or a combination of all of the above.
Regardless! This post isn't supposed to be about any of that. Rather, it's supposed to be about my four favorite voters of the day.
If you've heard me prattle on about this already, I'm sorry for repeating myself.
4) The Social Media Savvy Woman.
Our voter list is organized by street address and then by surname, so when this woman came in to vote she happened to notice that her husband hadn't been in yet. When she was done with the whole Voting Processtm, rather than apply her complimentary, "I Voted!" sticker to her shirt, she instead took a picture of it with her phone.
"Twitter?" I asked.
"Facebook," she replied. "And I'm @ing my husband so he knows I got here first."
Then she smiled like a rather cheerful agent of evil. It was glorious.
We then had a delightful conversation which prompted me to look up what makes a City Councilor different from a City Councilor at Large on Wikipedia. And now I know.
3) The Performer
The Polling location is really a multi-use auditorium, and so there's a piano in the corner of the large room. No one I work with can play, but the last two election cycles brought in a voter who can, and last night he once again offered to play a song for us. I can't speak to the skill of the player, or the name of the song, or even whether or not the instrument was in tune, but it was awesome just the same.
I love that guy.
2) Children!
There's a Jewish School not far from the polling location, and usually during an election a representative from the school will come over and ask if they can bring the kids through to learn about voting and general Civics. I always say yes, because...ADORABLE SCHOOL CHILDREN! And because I feel as though I'm conversant enough in the general gist of things that I can whip up a presentation on the fly pretty easily.
Yesterday three groups came through, and while I wasn't feeling my best, I still managed to be fairly comprehensive...in that I'm pretty sure that everything I said made sense.
I hope.
At one point, when I'd run out of things to say about how we fill out ballots, I asked if there were any questions.
A small boy raised his hand. "Why is your hair purple?"
I just kind of blinked at him partly due to the Sudafed Haze I was sporting at the time, and partly because my hair isn't purple, it's red.
"Because it started to go grey without my permission and I'm fighting back," I told him. Which prompted several other questions regarding grey hair, and why I might not like it...thankfully his teacher bought us back on course.
But for the whole day it just made me smile.
"Why is your hair purple?"
1) That Guy.
But my favorite person, the one who beats out all of those adorable stories above, is the guy who had to register a complaint. One he's apparently made before, and will hopefully make in the future...because LOLs.
"I've made this complaint before, and I'm going to keep making it: We shouldn't have signs or ballots in any language other than English.
There's two things you need to be able to vote in this country, to be a Citizen and to speak English."
Now, ...readers, if you're not already aware of this, what this man is saying isn't true. The United States has no Federally Recognized National Language. I'm not saying that life for anyone living here wouldn't probably be made a great deal easier by being conversant in English...or really just 'Merican will do, but...it's not a law that you need to speak it. Or read it.
I'd like to think that everyone in the US knows this. But apparently this man, who's a doctor by trade, doesn't...and that concerns me.
There were many things I wanted to say:
"What do you have against Blind People voting?"
"So the Deaf can't vote?"
"I'm sorry, you ignorant piece of shit, you're wrong and you should be made to feel ashamed for your bigotry. LOOK EVERYONE! LAUGH AT THE RACIST BIGOT! LAUGH!"
But I didn't say any of those things, because...during the hours the polling location is open, we're not supposed to talk about politics.
Also, I'm trying my hand at this Being An Adult thing.**
SO rather than engage him in a conversation that I knew wasn't going to change his mind, and certainly wasn't going to keep my blood pressure around Normal Resting, I listened. I smiled in the way one does when listening to reassure the speaking that you're doing the whole listening thing.
And then I said, "Okay. I'll make a note of that." Then I handed him his ballot.
He went on his merry way, voted, and just as he was leaving said, "Adios!" to the room at large.
Douchecanoe, party of one. Your table is ready.
So there you have it, highlights from yesterday's election.
Wicked exciting, right?
* Which is different than working the Pole, where at least your flexibility and people skills earn you more per hour.
...or so I've heard.
** Progress is slowgoing.
It was a day that started at 4:30 in the morning and went until 8:30 at night. What some might call A Long Day. Mine was made to feel longer thanks in part to a sinus infection and a recent flu shot.
Yeah, pretty sure I had a low-grade fever for most of the day. Lots of fun.
Plus alongside that I had a wonderful bout of IBS. Not sure if that was brought on by the coffee I drank that morning, the fact that I didn't eat solid food until 4 pm, the overabundance of Vitamin C Drops, the flu shot, or a combination of all of the above.
Regardless! This post isn't supposed to be about any of that. Rather, it's supposed to be about my four favorite voters of the day.
If you've heard me prattle on about this already, I'm sorry for repeating myself.
4) The Social Media Savvy Woman.
Our voter list is organized by street address and then by surname, so when this woman came in to vote she happened to notice that her husband hadn't been in yet. When she was done with the whole Voting Processtm, rather than apply her complimentary, "I Voted!" sticker to her shirt, she instead took a picture of it with her phone.
"Twitter?" I asked.
"Facebook," she replied. "And I'm @ing my husband so he knows I got here first."
Then she smiled like a rather cheerful agent of evil. It was glorious.
We then had a delightful conversation which prompted me to look up what makes a City Councilor different from a City Councilor at Large on Wikipedia. And now I know.
3) The Performer
The Polling location is really a multi-use auditorium, and so there's a piano in the corner of the large room. No one I work with can play, but the last two election cycles brought in a voter who can, and last night he once again offered to play a song for us. I can't speak to the skill of the player, or the name of the song, or even whether or not the instrument was in tune, but it was awesome just the same.
I love that guy.
2) Children!
There's a Jewish School not far from the polling location, and usually during an election a representative from the school will come over and ask if they can bring the kids through to learn about voting and general Civics. I always say yes, because...ADORABLE SCHOOL CHILDREN! And because I feel as though I'm conversant enough in the general gist of things that I can whip up a presentation on the fly pretty easily.
Yesterday three groups came through, and while I wasn't feeling my best, I still managed to be fairly comprehensive...in that I'm pretty sure that everything I said made sense.
I hope.
At one point, when I'd run out of things to say about how we fill out ballots, I asked if there were any questions.
A small boy raised his hand. "Why is your hair purple?"
I just kind of blinked at him partly due to the Sudafed Haze I was sporting at the time, and partly because my hair isn't purple, it's red.
"Because it started to go grey without my permission and I'm fighting back," I told him. Which prompted several other questions regarding grey hair, and why I might not like it...thankfully his teacher bought us back on course.
But for the whole day it just made me smile.
"Why is your hair purple?"
1) That Guy.
But my favorite person, the one who beats out all of those adorable stories above, is the guy who had to register a complaint. One he's apparently made before, and will hopefully make in the future...because LOLs.
"I've made this complaint before, and I'm going to keep making it: We shouldn't have signs or ballots in any language other than English.
There's two things you need to be able to vote in this country, to be a Citizen and to speak English."
Now, ...readers, if you're not already aware of this, what this man is saying isn't true. The United States has no Federally Recognized National Language. I'm not saying that life for anyone living here wouldn't probably be made a great deal easier by being conversant in English...or really just 'Merican will do, but...it's not a law that you need to speak it. Or read it.
I'd like to think that everyone in the US knows this. But apparently this man, who's a doctor by trade, doesn't...and that concerns me.
There were many things I wanted to say:
"What do you have against Blind People voting?"
"So the Deaf can't vote?"
"I'm sorry, you ignorant piece of shit, you're wrong and you should be made to feel ashamed for your bigotry. LOOK EVERYONE! LAUGH AT THE RACIST BIGOT! LAUGH!"
But I didn't say any of those things, because...during the hours the polling location is open, we're not supposed to talk about politics.
Also, I'm trying my hand at this Being An Adult thing.**
SO rather than engage him in a conversation that I knew wasn't going to change his mind, and certainly wasn't going to keep my blood pressure around Normal Resting, I listened. I smiled in the way one does when listening to reassure the speaking that you're doing the whole listening thing.
And then I said, "Okay. I'll make a note of that." Then I handed him his ballot.
He went on his merry way, voted, and just as he was leaving said, "Adios!" to the room at large.
Douchecanoe, party of one. Your table is ready.
So there you have it, highlights from yesterday's election.
Wicked exciting, right?
* Which is different than working the Pole, where at least your flexibility and people skills earn you more per hour.
...or so I've heard.
** Progress is slowgoing.
