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For the first time in the better part of a decade I own a new bathing suit.
It took a three mile walk round trip to get to the store, and at very least six journeys from the sales floor to the changing room for me to find one, but I left victorious!
One bathing suit: purchased.
Achievement: Unlocked.
I just...hope it fits right and looks okay once it's on. Don't get me wrong, I'm ever so glad that there's the whole rule about having to keep one's knickers on while trying on bathing suits...but that does tend to hinder one's ability to effectively judge the overall look and feel of a suit.
Also unhelpful? Body dysmorphia, of which I have a scorching case. It's like...trying to parallel park a car you don't drive a whole lot. Funny enough...I also have trouble with as well.
I spent most of my trips to and from the changing room swapping out suits in XL for L sized, because...in my head I wear HUGE clothing all the time. Because I am a HUGE person all the time. Round and swollen with too skinny arms and legs, not unlike a Mister Potatohead.
The small portion of my brain that actually deals in "Logic" knows that this isn't indeed the case, and I feel it's important to point out that this post isn't a cry for reassurances of any sort. This is what it is. And what it is, is something I'm working on. To be present and in my skin as often as possible.
But today, under unforgiving neon lights, I felt as though I was trying to find a spot for a Zipcar near Fenway when the Yankees are in town.
It took a three mile walk round trip to get to the store, and at very least six journeys from the sales floor to the changing room for me to find one, but I left victorious!
One bathing suit: purchased.
Achievement: Unlocked.
I just...hope it fits right and looks okay once it's on. Don't get me wrong, I'm ever so glad that there's the whole rule about having to keep one's knickers on while trying on bathing suits...but that does tend to hinder one's ability to effectively judge the overall look and feel of a suit.
Also unhelpful? Body dysmorphia, of which I have a scorching case. It's like...trying to parallel park a car you don't drive a whole lot. Funny enough...I also have trouble with as well.
I spent most of my trips to and from the changing room swapping out suits in XL for L sized, because...in my head I wear HUGE clothing all the time. Because I am a HUGE person all the time. Round and swollen with too skinny arms and legs, not unlike a Mister Potatohead.
The small portion of my brain that actually deals in "Logic" knows that this isn't indeed the case, and I feel it's important to point out that this post isn't a cry for reassurances of any sort. This is what it is. And what it is, is something I'm working on. To be present and in my skin as often as possible.
But today, under unforgiving neon lights, I felt as though I was trying to find a spot for a Zipcar near Fenway when the Yankees are in town.
